Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Discourse on SaaS

I take this opportunity to explain a model that has clearly begun to revolutionize the world we live in.

SaaS stands for Spouse as a Service (not to be confused with Sex as a Service).

What is SaaS?

When a spouse (and all the benefits which come with the spouse):

1. are always available in the desired ways and means
2. come with no up-front costs, i.e., you only get to pay for what you use
3. provide you with the ability to easily ramp-up and ramp-down the amount of services that you can receive at any specified time (based on your moods and temperamental levels)

then the spouse is said to be offered as a service.

Why SaaS?

The disadvantages of an on-premise spouse, as offered by conventional matrimony, include:

High CapEx -- CapEx or Capital Expenditure (net expenditure necessary up-front in order to begin enjoying the services of the spouse, e.g., restaurant bills during initial dates, wedding expenses) is high.

High OpEx -- OpEx or Operational Expenditure (recurring costs necessary to maintain the spouse within your premise, e.g., clothes and jewellery) is staggering.

Vendor lock-in -- Owing to [1] you have complete ownership of the spouse (and all the flaws that come with it) and [2] you have already invested considerable time, money and effort in getting used to the spouse, a lock-in is created, removing all possibilities of you trying out another spouse.

Lack of scalability -- You may NOT need all of the services offered by your spouse (and) at all times.

Untapped SMB market --  Most SMBs or Small to Medium-waged Bachelors can never afford to acquire and maintain a full-blown on-premise spouse.

SaaS addresses and eliminates all of the above disadvantages of an on-premise spouse.

Features of interest to a consumer of SaaS

Security -- All of your confidential data (such as bank balances, investments, property) shall be kept secure and highly confidential.

Enhancement -- If you are dissatisfied with a particular service offered by your spouse, this model offers a convenient way of tending to them (faults or change-requests).

Customization -- You would have the ability to customize / tailor your spouse to fit your needs.

Availability -- Your spouse shall now be always available -- especially in those times of hightened emotional / physical need.

Termination -- If you are completely unhappy with the spouse, you have the liberty to terminate the services and find a more fitting spouse.

Integration -- It will now be possible to seamlessly integrate your spouse with your internal systems, such as family and friends.

(Note: All the above come with strict SLAs or Service Level Agreements)

SaaS-y isn't it?!?


Viji said...

ha ha... That's what I'd call a clever, funny post. "software" and "spouse" rotfl...
I now agree that you have a deep, acquired knowledge on SaaS.

Rajaraman Subramanian said...

I never thought a brief stint in UK would bring in this kind of analogy.

Actually I am now getting a feeling that the term was coined by somebody who had a horrendous time with his/her spouse.

Finally, Are you going to engage with a SaaS model?

Shivsu said...

Viji, a little too deep, I guess!

Shivsu said...

Rajaraman, although an SMB like me can now benefit from SaaS, I hope to, one day, own a vast empire and setup my own private-cloud (i.e., a harem or அந்தப்புரம்)!!!

Krishnan said...

Siva, this one was great. I guess I have to learn entire SaaS to comprehend what you have written.

Shivsu said...

Well, actually, I've skipped "Features of SaaS
of interest to ISV - Independent Spouse Vendors" (as I could see things began to go off the hook!) :P

Selina Joney said...

Now that's innovative!! :) While it may invite the wrath of some women (the ones in ur life already?), its certainly an interesting twist on technology. I think you're ready for ur marketing stint now :)

Shivsu said...

Selina, besides technology, I love women (not just the ones in my life already) too damn much to invite any of their wrath!

Thank you! But I'm sure I wouldn't be ready without having parched your throat enough! :)