I take this opportunity to explain a model that has clearly begun to revolutionize the world we live in.
SaaS stands for Spouse as a Service (not to be confused with Sex as a Service).
What is SaaS?
When a spouse (and all the benefits which come with the spouse):
1. are always available in the desired ways and means
2. come with no up-front costs, i.e., you only get to pay for what you use
3. provide you with the ability to easily ramp-up and ramp-down the amount of services that you can receive at any specified time (based on your moods and temperamental levels)
then the spouse is said to be offered as a service.
Why SaaS?
The disadvantages of an on-premise spouse, as offered by conventional matrimony, include:
High CapEx -- CapEx or Capital Expenditure (net expenditure necessary up-front in order to begin enjoying the services of the spouse, e.g., restaurant bills during initial dates, wedding expenses) is high.
High OpEx -- OpEx or Operational Expenditure (recurring costs necessary to maintain the spouse within your premise, e.g., clothes and jewellery) is staggering.
Vendor lock-in -- Owing to [1] you have complete ownership of the spouse (and all the flaws that come with it) and [2] you have already invested considerable time, money and effort in getting used to the spouse, a lock-in is created, removing all possibilities of you trying out another spouse.
Lack of scalability -- You may NOT need all of the services offered by your spouse (and) at all times.
Untapped SMB market -- Most SMBs or Small to Medium-waged Bachelors can never afford to acquire and maintain a full-blown on-premise spouse.
SaaS addresses and eliminates all of the above disadvantages of an on-premise spouse.
Features of interest to a consumer of SaaS
Security -- All of your confidential data (such as bank balances, investments, property) shall be kept secure and highly confidential.
Enhancement -- If you are dissatisfied with a particular service offered by your spouse, this model offers a convenient way of tending to them (faults or change-requests).
Customization -- You would have the ability to customize / tailor your spouse to fit your needs.
Availability -- Your spouse shall now be always available -- especially in those times of hightened emotional / physical need.
Termination -- If you are completely unhappy with the spouse, you have the liberty to terminate the services and find a more fitting spouse.
Integration -- It will now be possible to seamlessly integrate your spouse with your internal systems, such as family and friends.
(Note: All the above come with strict SLAs or Service Level Agreements)
SaaS-y isn't it?!?
